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Fear and the Role It Plays in Life

Is It Holding You Back?

This may not be a super exciting topic for many, but it’s there, and exists in life and is normal. Expect it, we all have it at some point in our lives but the trick is how we deal with it, work through it and above all….keep it from holding us back.

Thirteen years ago when I decided to let go of working for someone else and helping to build their dream, I was told fear can and will hold you back. But just the word itself….FEAR…it’s actually False Evidence Appearing Real. Pretty cute huh? And definitely true!

For the purpose of this site post, I’ll deal with fear on a more business related side, because far too often those starting out on their own deal with this and it can grip them hard, in many (sad) cases it causes them to actually let go and shut down on their dreams, goals and huge ideas. First off let me say that fear isn’t a sign that you’re doing something wrong, rather it means that you’re doing something new and right and bold!! You’ve stepped outside your comfort zone, a place you may find scary but just embrace it and let it all sink in and tell yourself that you are in that rather small percentage of people who’ve taken a leap of faith to forge ahead and go after your dreams and goals. If you don’t have the fear it means you’re not moving forward or challenging yourself to grow. I like this part of a quote Christy Wright wrote in her book Business Boutique quoting a friend “Fear establishes the limits of your life. The bigger your fear, the smaller your life”. I love that! How true it is. Fear can stop you in your tracks, make you ask yourself “Maybe I shouldn’t be doing this, is this right, what if it doesn’t work” and the list goes on. My favorite part of that line is what if it doesn’t work…to which I say what if it does?

Fear is real folks, especially when it comes to business and there’s scientific fact to back it up. Back in the 1970’s researchers called this the “Imposter Syndrome” (Christy Wright; Business Boutique), because it can give feelings of undeserving of their achievements or dreams/goals, afraid of being found out and this one…..”Who am I to do this?”.😲

I think the best part of all this is that ironically, the ones who suffer from Imposter Syndrome are usually high achievers and the ones getting stuff done! Someone there binge watching TV eating bon bons or aimlessly surfing social sites and saying “look how lucky he/she is” isn’t even wondering if they’re performing up to standard and not even dealing with the fear….(then again perhaps they are and that fear has gripped them so tight they’re afraid to make any moves)

A lot and I mean A lot of people have a fear of failing…..especially when it comes to any type of business venture or idea. It’s so common. But to that I say FAIL and FAIL BIG, yes folks that’s right you heard me say it…FAIL and FAIL AGAIN AND AGAIN! Ben Franklin had what…some 1,000 failures before getting the light bulb right. ONE THOUSAND! Michael Jordan, Stevie Wonder, Colonel Sanders…just to name a few have had so many failures and strikes against them…did it stop them? Nope! Ya see, the thing is, if you never try you’ll never fail. Plain and simple as all that! Failure is an option, failure is good, failing forward is a good sign!

When starting something new, there’s always going to be nay-sayers, the “fear inducers” the “what ifers” (yep that’s a word in my world) these people will always be there no matter what to crush you down and put the fear into you, even if you don’t already have it. Walk away! Put on ear muffs! Play loud music to drown them out! Whatever it takes, just don’t let them make you step back into your comfort zone. Press forward and just say “What if it doesn’t? Ahhh but what if it DOES”?

So as the book says “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” (Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.)

If you’ve ventured into something new and stepped outside your comfort zone, give yourself a pat on the back and when someone says “It can’t be done” as I always say “Watch Me!” and fail forward my friend!